Breathing

Posting’s been light, and may continue to be so for a bit longer.  I don’t know what to write about.  I’ve got pictures for food posts.  I just don’t have the enthusiasm for the writing.  I haven’t done much of anything creative lately.  I know, loss of interest in hobbies and creative pursuits is a symptom of depression.  Don’t worry, I’m taking my meds.  I think I’m just overloaded, mentally, right now, and I’m not handling it well.  Or I am, but it’s taking a lot out of me in other areas.  Sleeping is erratic, still.  I dozed/slept a couple hours on the couch this morning, once Bill was at work and the kids were at school, with reruns of Frasier on the TV.  I think that helped keep worrisome thoughts at bay.  I still felt sluggish for a while after that. 

But…this weather is helping.  A record high of 72 degrees recorded yesterday, and probably upper 60s today.  So nice.  So much growing.  We’ve got spinach, arugula, herbs, a few carrots, and a lone broccoli rabe plant that must have seeded itself last year.  Bill has planted lots of broccoli rabe everywhere, and the peas are planted in buckets along the driveway.  He planted something else, too, but I can’t remember what.  All that’s outside.  Inside, we’ve got the onions and leeks, the three squash plants, and very lush looking basil, assorted tomatoes, and hot peppers. 

Green is such a cheering color.  At least, the green of vegetables and herbs and flowers is.  To me.

I found myself taking deep, slow gulps of fresh air today.  Maybe that’s what I’ve been needing.

Anyway, that’s where I am.  I toy with the idea of writing about some of what’s going on…maybe in password protected posts…but I don’t know.  I don’t know. 

I don’t know. 

So for now, this is me, slogging through the fog in my brain.

Comments

[BertiesBakery]

I hear ya! Maybe you should take a break from writting and simply post your food pics? We all love your photography?

Everyone needs a break sometime :)

[Robyn]

Write if you feel like it, not otherwise. Write about what you're feeling - sometimes writing your fears down makes them less scary. Give yourself a daily challenge with the camera - head outside and photograph 5 things beginning with 'P' for example. Do some exercise each day - the more physically tired you are, the more likely you might sleep at nights. Most of all take time for YOU. xx

[Judy]

Saying prayers for you. Been there, done that, many times. I'll wear the purple rosary bracelet you made and say it for you.

[Liz]

I have been where you are multiple times. I take the drugs and feel "better" but not myself. Spring is my tonic though and I hope it helps you as much as it does me.

As for posting, do what feels good for you. I love what you write and I love your pictures. If it's light for a while, that's ok. I'm not going anywhere and I bet your other readers feel the same way.

Take care Jane. Love ya!

[Kate]

Sometimes it's enough just to take time to breathe. We're here if you need to talk, and we'll be here if you don't. Take care of yourself and the rest will come. Hope things settle down for you.

[Zoe]

I hope things get better for you soon. I love your posts and always look forward to reading when I see you've posted. Take care.

[kathy]

Spring has that effect on me, too. All the renewal and new beginnings. It uplifts me and makes me think I can have new beginnings, too.

[Shari]

Just found your blog thru the egg-dying post. (Wonderful!) I also suffer from depression, so you have my compassion. Hope you are feeling better.

[Kat]

You breathe, I breathe, we all breathe, and then maybe tomorrow we'll do something even more extraordinary. Or not. We'll just keep breathing.
Can I recommend listening to Josh Ritter's "Snow is Gone" at full blast while sipping some ginger tea?
"...Hello blackbird, hello starling,
Winter's over, come be my darling..."