Deciphering my Map

I think I’m taking a break.  I could be wrong – it seems as soon as I decide I’m not going to write any more for a while a floodgate of sorts opens and I start posting twice a day.

But anyway.

I think I’m taking a break.

I’ve been feeling a greater and greater disconnect from this website for a while now.  At first I thought it was – a year and a half ago – that I’d begun working as a cook and suddenly felt that I really had no right blogging about cooking because there is so much I DON’T know…I felt like a pretender to something I wasn’t.

I know, I think about the stupidest things for way too long.

Anyway, there was that.

But once I got a bit over feeling like a fake, I decided I’d just post about food sometimes, but without any authoritative tone in my writing voice.

But still…that fire is so much smaller now.

I think I just don’t feel like I’m her any more.  The barefootkitchenwitch. 

Things are changing in my life…well, of course, things are always changing in all our lives, right?…but in conjunction with those changes, I feel like

Oh hell I don’t even know how to say what I’m saying, because I’m keeping some stuff private, only I don’t want to – my urge is to write it all out, but frankly, I don’t feel like sharing with the universe just yet. 

And putting that restriction on my own writing seems to have rendered me unable to write about anything except the occasional Scratchy post. 

So I guess what I’m saying is I’m not sure what I’m doing just yet, but if I figure it out, I’ll let you know.

Comments

[RoseAnn]

Whatever you decide to do, I'll keep reading it! We all need a break sometimes and we all have to find that balance of how much we share and how much we keep to ourselves.

{{{Hugs}}}

[laura]

It's always best to go with your gut. If it says not to share - then don't share. But if you feel like you want to share, we'll be here for you.
blessings
~*~

[Anne]

Over the years my inclination to post on my blog waxes, and wanes, too... Simply do as much as you want, and don't push yourself beyond what you feel like sharing. While I liked when you were posting more about food, I still enjoy my visits to your blog, so stop feeling guilty.

:)

[Zoe]

Take care of yourself! We readers will be here when you feel like dumping some words into the universe. :)

[Kat]

What they all said. Plus, if you need a hand, or a shoulder, or an ear...
BTW, though, the internets are full of cats, but there's only one Scratchy. Never feel bad for sharing Scratchy posts!

[Linda Sapp]

I aways enjoy reading about Scratchy. And if you need some time, please take it. We're all with you in whatever you're going through so take your time. Bless you!

[Susanna]

Do what you need to do for yourself. That's number one. Thought of your blog the other day because Dave's has a sale on butter...$1.99. Wishing you peace and cookies!

[Laural H]

Jayne, I first come to your site from a link to your post for Herb Layered Ravioli. The pictures were so appetizing, and your were so encouraging that I thought maybe I could do that too. (Although I have yet to attempt to make homemade pasta.) You did introduce me to Forbidden Rice and your recipe is one I make often. And you have inspired me to try my hand at cheese-making - the ingredients have been ordered and should arrive soon. Other than food, I've come to care for your family, including Scratchy. And your post about the Christmas Cookie fairy is still one of my favorite of all time. As others have said, take the time you need, and we will be here if and when you return.
May God bless you and your family.

[Amy R.]

I think I came to your blog around 4 years ago, when I was looking for advice on rolling out pasta by hand. (It turned out spectacularly, so thank you!) I am not much of a commenter, but I've enjoyed reading ever since then. I can't really explain it, but there's something grounding and touching about your writing. It feels homey. Reading your blog is like going to a friend's house for a home-cooked meal and a laugh or a cry. I hope you and your family are well, and count me among those who will be here for whatever you wish to write.

[Pamela L.]

Jayne your a great cook, I could never be as fearless in the kitchen as you are. Don't sell yourself short. Don't play that I'm inferior game, rubbish! You need to write, just keep a journal on your computer or in a notebook. Your a wonderful writer. I'll miss reading about your adventures and your family, you've made us care about you, so you do what you have to...

[Beth]

I'll miss you! I don't read a lot online (mostly just healthy cooking and down to earth living blogs like yours, and the sprouted kitchen and healthy happy mama blogs actually lol), but I really enjoyed keeping up now and then after connecting with you on etsy! You're a kindred spirit and I wish you all the luck in the world on your next endeavors! I'll send a little prayer your way each time I wear your necklaces. Which are hands down my favorite necklaces because I swear they bring me good juju.
Warm regards from upstate New York ~ Beth

[roo]

if you ever decide to write as a different persona elsewhere, let me know, because i like your work, and i'd like to keep reading, even if you no longer write about making cheese.

[tracey]

Jayne ~ I totally understand. I just took a year off from blogging for myriad personal reasons and I'm just now thinking about diving back in, but elsewhere, not on my old site, most likely. If you need a break, you need a break. No need to explain. Life changes us and changes who we feel we are. I'm just glad to call you a friend.

[Theresa @ Two Much Fun]

Hi Jayne, I'm new to your site and of course now you might be leaving. I found you while doing a Google search for beet cupcakes. I found yours, baked a batch, received a lot of oohs and aaahhhs and hugs and kisses from my kids, and now… you're leaving? Please know that you do make a difference. If you need to leave your site for a while, or longer, than of course that's what you do. Enjoy your break.